Categorized | Coming Out

Our Stories: Jeanne "I'm still imprisoned by the very hope that brought me here."

Not a lot of people know this about me.  Only one friend out of the bunch.  Partly because I could never tell how people would react to this truth, so I just keep it to myself.  There are days when I choose to forget about my situation, but there are just some days when it is all that I’m reminded of: I can’t drive, I don’t have a job, constantly living in fear, and I worry about how I’m getting to school/clinical or even if I’m graduating is all part of my day.

I came here when I was 14 with thoughts of getting a “better life,” as my parents would always say.  Now 9 years later, I’m still imprisoned by the very hope that brought me here. I did well in high school and graduated in the top 10% of the class.  But, all of that hard work never did get me close to going to a University.  I’m now in the nursing program at a community college, coming into my 4th Semester and 4 months away from graduating.  Going to school and clinicals was particularly challenging for me because I can’t drive. For the past few years, I always dreaded the time when my friends would ask me “why aren’t you driving yet?” It was something I felt very ashamed of and also very helpless about.  I’m very scared of what the near-future holds for me.  I’m graduating soon, but I’m not sure I could even sit for the NCLEX because of my situation.  I’m also scared that I might not be able to graduate because of certain rules now that hospitals have about students and their backgrounds.  But, I try to take it all in stride and hope that God just gives me the strength to keep on going.

All I’m asking for is that chance and opportunity to pursue my dreams. I still have plans of getting my bachelor’s and my master’s degree in Nursing.  I just hope that this DREAM ACT will materialize and become a reality soon.  Time and again, I would blindly put the blame on my parents for my current situation, but that would just be pointless, because  for all intents and purposes they just wanted the best for me.  Being unable to drive and not having a job kills me because I feel helpless for not being able to help out the family, and even pay for my own school expenses.   Many of my peers take for granted the mundane, like being able to drive, going out for some drinks, having a job, or even simply traveling.
Look around you: chances are, you have one friend that is in my situation.  I don’t need your pity, but instead we need your support and respect. We are no different from anyone, and we’re human too–maybe it’s time we should be treated that way.
  • Emma Douglas

    Let me start out by saying that im not an illegal immigrant. However Im a very similar situation as you, except i am graduating in july and i'm also unsure if i will be able to sit for the NCLEX examination. Each day i go about my life with hope in my heart and courage in my daily activities that someday this will all change for the better. I hope more people realize the need for them to support this dream act. So that good law abiding people like us can have a future here too.

  • Tina

    I as well am in the nursing program and have the same fear of not being able to purse further on and sit for the NCLEX..I also as well have a hard time trying to get to class and clinicals….It's so hard not being able to drive and getting the same questions asked..It's my 2nd semester though. Anyway, I just felt like when i was reading this, I felt like i was reading my own story except i'm nowhere near graduating yet..

  • Lily

    OMG your story is MY LIFE!!! i came here when i was fifteen and I just graduated from Nursing school this month and just like you i'm unable to take my NCLEX-Rn exam. My friends received their ATT's and everyone keeps asking me when i'm taking my exam and all i can do is lie abt it cos nobody knows my situation. It's very difficult to wake up every morning knowing that all the years you've spent in college trying to get this nursing degree will be of no use because you can't use the degree. All we're asking for is a chance not a free ride like most people think we had a say of being brought here, i came here legally with the intent of going back in a couple of weeks but my parents decided i'd have a better life here, but a 'better life" has turned into a nightmare that never ends. Just give us a chance to live our dreams, that all we ask!

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