Coming out of the Shadows – A How To Guide
Difficulty:
Easy to Medium to Very Difficult
Time:
10 minutes-2 hours
“Brothers and Sisters, you must come out! come out to your parents, come out to your friends, if indeed they are your friends, come out to your neighbors, come out to your fellow workers. Once and for all, let’s break down the myth and destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake, for their sake. For the sake of all the youngsters who’ve been scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene. On the Statue of Liberty it says ‘ Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free.’ In the Declaration of Independence it is written, ‘All men are created equal and endowed with certain unalienable rights.’ For Mr. Briggs and Mrs. Bryant and all the bigots out there, no matter how hard you try, you can never erase those words from the Declaration of Independence! No matter how hard you try you can never chip those words from the base of the Statue of Liberty! That is where America is!â€
-Harvey Milk
Congratulations! You have decided to come out of the shadows about your undocumented status. Perhaps you have finally decided to tell your friends why you haven’t signed up for your drivers’ ed. class or why you still don’t drive to school. Maybe, you will come out to your guidance counselor, who has asked you repeatedly to turn in your college application, but you were too afraid to tell him/her that you don’t have a social security number and that you still don’t know how you will pay for college without financial aid.
Please remember you are not alone. You are part of a large community of courageous undocumented youth who have decided to come out of the shadows about our immigration status. We live every day in fear and we are tired of it. We want to be able to talk about our lives and our stories without fearing persecution or deportation. We are not free to travel, go to school, work, live, but we refuse to be helpless. In the same way the LGBTQ community has historically come out, undocumented youth, some of whom are also part of the LGBTQ community, have decided to speak openly about their status. Your courage will open the way to having even more conversations about your immigration status. Sharing your stories will allow  us, as a movement of undocumented youth, to grow, as we continue to learn to accept ourselves. By being more open we will begin replacing fear with courage and, ultimately, be united in our demands for change. You will be surprised how little other people know about the realities of being undocumented. People who know someone who is gay or lesbian are more likely to support equal rights for all gay and lesbian people- the same follows for people who know someone who is undocumented.  Also note, if you must also confront intersecting oppressions (i.e. Gender, Race, Class, Sexual orientation), coming out about your status is one of the many hurdles for liberation.
National Coming Out Day
March 10th is National Coming Out Day. In Chicago, the Immigrant Youth Justice League will be holding a rally and a march to launch a week-long “coming out†of undocumented youth across the country. In other cities and towns, students are coming out to their friends on a much smaller scale. Whether big or small, consider participating in the National Coming Out Day and weeks by coming out!
Before you get started:
If you are nervous about coming out:
- Practice, Practice, Practice!: In front of a mirror or with someone with whom you’ve     already come out to
- Breathe: Breathing is a good thing. When we are nervous, we tend to withhold our breath or breathe heavily. Take a break and be conscious of your breathing. Breathe in and out until you can hear your heart beat normally. This is good for centering yourself and your thoughts.
- Protect Yourself
- Use only your first name, a nickname or your middle name
- Limit the amount of identifying information in your story of self. For example, instead of saying “I live on Elm Street†you say “I live in St. Paul, MN.â€
- Write your story and have a friend or family member read it.
- Know Your Rights
Include Know Your Rights Info here.
How to Participate in the Coming Out Week:
Your Commitment:
Look at the list below and determine your level of participation. Every bit helps moves us closer to passing the DREAM Act!
“I am a Dreamerâ€
Share your story with anyone (friends, family that do not know, a teacher, etc.) and get at least 10 petition signatures
“Shout It Outâ€
Get 25 petition signatures (or text) & share you story with us (written or video)
“We Are Here, Get Used to Itâ€
Get 50 petition signatures (or text) & share you story with us (written or video) & hold a coming out party
“Loud and Proudâ€
Get 75 petition signatures (or text) & share you story with us (written or video) & hold a coming out event w/ press coverage
“Out of the Closets and into the Streets”
Get 100 petition signatures (or text) & get 5 people to share their story with us (written or video) & hold a coming out event w/ press coverage
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT LEVEL YOU ARE
Coming out is a very important and empowering time in a persons life. By coming out of the shadows you’re finally shedding some light on this issue that has been affecting others for years. Remember that there’s other youth out there, like yourself, that are too scared to come out. By taking the first step many more will find the courage they need to speak out as well!
Whatever you decide to do….Be creative and Be Brave!
I am inspired by the way you are honoring Harvey Milk and the LGBTQ struggle in which he was so active. And other struggles for voice and visibility and liberation. Your vision is powerful –that courage and hope will overcome fear and isolation. Please let me know how I can keep supporting your efforts.
You can join us on Facebook at Reform Immigration FOR America.
I will FIGHT you all to get you DEPORTED. I am gay, born in the USA of immigrants who followed the law to get here. I am someone you would think would be an ally – gay, liberal democrat that is disgusted by the hijacking of my country into one where I have to "press one" to function in my own country's language. I also lived in Miami for 10 years and have seen the hispanic takeover of South Florida and the lines of division that exist there between anglo. latino, and the black populations. I also lived in France for a year and respect the French desire and success in maintaining their identity, culture and language.
I understand what you want me to do but the fear is not for me. I have my parents my sister and brother to think about. What happens to them if I come out and tell others who I am?
hey, i think this is something we all worry about, and i think that is why when you are planning your coming out story you get to decide just how much to tell and to whom you tell. Like the guide says, avoid using your last name and identifying information if you're going really public, but if it's more private, then choose to tell people you trust, and you need not tell them about your family (for all that person knows, you might be a mixed status family). Nothing has to happen to them. On a different but related note be sure everyone knows their rights to remain silent. This is just a general good thing to do (know your rights).
i totaly nknow what milk is talking about i have his movioe an i watched many times i too am illegal an gay an thats why im goin to do this
I'm gay and undocumented, I'm glad you use Harvey Milk as an example but I wonder if it was Ok. to classify role models and place Mexican American hero Cesar Chavez as "level 2" whatever you are trying to say.
My question is, ok. people come out and then what? What if any of us get deported? What tools can we use to protect ourselves?
There is not much you can do to protect yourself from deportation. You are in the US illegally. If you prefer to live "in the shadows" continue to do so, sooner or later you will get deported, hopefully before you have a family of your own to leave behind. That is the whole point of this. We hope to make enough noise that change is made to the laws.
It would be foolish to believe that no one will have any problems if they come out, but hopefully it will open the eyes of many people who just don't get the problem or don't understand the magnitude of the problem for thousands of kids like you. It may not seem like it but many citizens are on your side in this. The people who are bigots and xenophobes just have bigger mouths. You need to reach the people who don't care yet and make them see that you have worth and it is important that they support change.
what's your point?? I'm not understanding the purpose of this e-mail. I know i'm illegal, my friends know, my teachers know, my employers know, so what's the next step??—–>
Good for you and good for your friends, school and job for caring about you as a person and not just an immigration statistic. The next step is to support the movement, get involved anyway you can to help get the law changed.
if we all come out to the public won't they just hate us? people talk so bad about illegals let alone Mexicans in general…What will happen once we let them know?
You are right and you are wrong. But if you are undocumented, the people who will hate you already do. Many of them, if they think you are documented, already hate you because you are an immigrant. BUT there are many people already on your side, and we don't care about your papers. The point is to show that there are many, many, many students who don't have papers, and to show people that many undocumented immigrants are really nice people. There will always be people who don't like you for one reason or another, don't be afraid to live your life because of them.
If you come out… we've got your back. You are never alone.
since this is an election year for the congress they won't want to deal with something as big as amnesty they'll leave it up to whoever is next in line…this perhaps isn't the best year
if everyone else thinks like you it will never happen. IF this is not the best year when is the best year? I have been waiting for many years for my papers. My life is going by and there are many things I would want to do but can't because of the paper's. How long more are you wiling to wait?
no!no!no! I just read an article saying Obama will push for this before summer time, we have to me do support it and let know our government we care and want the change. if we dont do it, then for fall time its gonna be too late … MAKE NOISE BEFORE ELECTIONS!!!
heres the link for the article:
http://articles.latimes.com/2010/mar/04/nation/la…
Cool touch to use Harvey Milk. I saw the movie and can relate to that. I am tired of living scared in this country. My life is on hold for many many years already and I don't know for how long more I'll be able to take this. There are 12 million of us. We are much bigger than those anti immigrant groups but yet we do nothing because of fear. When will this end?
We need to stop living in fear of what if. What's the worse that can happen, we are been cut off from society, we have nothing left to lose. Everyone is asking "what will happen if I come out as an illegal alien?".The real question would be, What I'm willing to lose to make my dream come true??
To achive greatness, there has to be sacrifices and this is not any different. Did the African Americans gave up for their right to be notice???? NO and many die. Did the Jew comunity gave up hope duirng WWII?? NO and many die.
So WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO DO????
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMosHEcnWNM
i leave you with this words and the video from the band muse
So What are you willing to do????
I did nothing when they came for the Negroes
beacuse my skin was not black……..
I stood idly when they came for the Jews
because I knew no Jew…………….
I sat quietly when they came for the academics
because I didn't care if they burn the books……..
I did nothing when they came for the elderly
because they had lived long already……….
I hid my face when they came for my friends
because I was afraid…………
And when they came for me – there was no one left to save me and so now
I am nothing.
That sounds sort of familiar–
First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me.
By: Martin Niemöller
Yes that is the author.
what's your point?? I'm not understanding the purpose of this e-mail. I know i'm illegal, my friends know, my teachers know, my employers know, so what's the next step??—–>
The mobilization for all of our aspirations is at coming. With health care and the economy taking priority, we must do events, hold awareness confrences, and advice all those around us to avoid getting left behind. Yes there are risks to consider, but we cannot compromise temporary security for our long deserving freedoms.
Ok. I will come out, but can you take off that stupid pyramid? Cesar Chavez deserves more respect.
I'm tired of people asking me why I work at a daycare, earning less than minimum wage,even though I graduated with a bachelors degree in psychology. How can I lie? What should I say? I'm tired of lying! I'm tired of telling co-workers,my friends, everyone… that I don't get a better job because I really like the one I have right now…… BUT I DON'T. I worked my ass of in college because I wanted to give my family a better future, not to work at a place where don't respect my rights… cause they think i have none. I'm coming out! I will not put my family in risk, but I will tell those people who I trust the truth. They need to know who i really am. I'M FINALY COMING OUT OF THE SHADOWS!!
I never understood what it was to be undocumented until I met my boyfriend. We were dating for only 2 months before he admitted his situation to me, and he was terrified that I would leave him. At the time I had no idea what it meant to lack papers, and I stayed with him thinking nothing of it. 2 years later, I now have a deep respect for everyone who is undocumented after seeing the hurdles he has to deal with every day of his life. And it's just that– everyday is a struggle. I was lucky enough to be born in the US, and many of us take simple privileges for granted. Having him come out to me caused me to become aware and to highly support the passage of the Dream Act. We all deserve equal rights, and I wholeheartedly wish you all the best of luck! This law is so important, and it needs all the attention it can get!
i am inspired. i would love to come out but it is much, much easier said than done. for a lot of us, it is not something we like to talk about. in fact, just the thought of my situation brings a knot to my throat and makes my eyes water. How can we come out and be able to handle so many bombs to our weakest spot?
[...] We have prepared a guide to help you get going, in addition to different levels of coming out, check it out here: Coming out, A How to Guide = http://www.dreamactivist.org/comeout/ [...]
Its so difficult to live in a different country a country that requires alot to just to live theirfor inocent people its like there treated like animals not becuz some body from there country commit crimes means that others will do the same the saying goes one bad apple spoils the whole bunch well for other immigrants its like that now they are in a country being dehumanized by the government and that so not fair then the counstution talks about freedom of this freedom of that now tell me why can all immigrants be free?
[...] News Article » National Coming Out of the Shadows Week – March 15th to the 21st March 5, 2010 – 1:07 am | 564925 Commentshttp://www.dreamactivist.org/comeout/National+Coming+Out+of+the+Shadows+Week+-+March+15th+to+the+21st2010-03-05+08%3A07%3A44Mohammad [...]
My heart goes out to people who are here without documentation to be here.The fault lies our government for not addressing this issue many years ago. It frustrates me that we welcome the Mexican in the dead of night to come in and pick our tomatoes or do our yard work, but we think that they will just "go away" after the work is done. We should have done the hard work 30-40 years ago and created an immigration policy that makes sense.
Try to go into Mexico and live without documents, you would be put in jail. The main people that suffer are the children and youth, they did not choose to come here illegally, their parents did. How can we blame them though? All they wanted was a better life for their families and that life was just across the border. Would they have been better off to stay in Mexico and fight for a better country? Maybe, but we will never know. No one seems to want the US to butt in to their country and help make it a republic, we've called that imperialism. Somewhere we have gotten off track as a human race. Finger pointing and blame assigning will not accomplish anyone's goals, but it sure seems like there has been more of that than leadership. If you cannot tell I am a conservative and a tea party patriot, don't judge me and I won't judge you. We have got to find a way to help undocumented people that have established their lives here as Americans. I welcome you.
Hello Livefree,
We appreciate your comment. I'm extremely surprised, having someone who's a conservative and a member of the tea party patriot, who understands that there has been a lot of finger pointing without true leadership–as well as children having to inherit this suffering. I'm surprised because immigrants have not recieved much support from the tea party, let alone the conservatives; it has mostly been negative reactions. So, we thank you for being open-minded and warm-hearted.
It is hard to find support from conservatives, so thank you for your words of encouragement.
Thank you LiveFree, for your compassion and understanding. You are right, it is a human issue.
[...] in Chicago, hundreds of immigrant youth will meet in Union Park to for a National “Coming Out” Day (part of National Coming out week led by the United We Dream Coalition). Led by the Immigrant Youth [...]
You are criminal invaders and your march will wake Americans up even more!
Go ahead and march in Washington and watch how angry Americans will get!
You are only an invading Mexian army you monsters and you will be stopped by the American people.
Your dream will be our American nightmare.
Leave it to Mexicans to feel they are entitled to the U.S. by sneaking in like the cockroaches you are!
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
John, read up on your American history before making such broad comments based on ignorance. Here's a good place to start: http://academic.udayton.edu/race/02rights/guadalu…
Wow John. You got us.
My dear John please read your American History, before making ignorant comments.
I leave you a site where you can read it.
http://www.ushistory.org/
What if I consider myself American?
if u didnt know you americans dont believe in freedom nor freedom of speech because you dont respect others that are not you race nor what they have to say look back at history too see who works harder to make america what it is today you dont build houses keep them clean pick the fruit and veggies build railways know your history before sppeking those lies that we invade we are what make america what it is dont be hating on races who only fight for what we deserve out of so much work
Well go ahead and delete me. Typical liberal crap when you can't stand to hear the truth. Go ahead and push your lies. The fact is, AMERICANS don't want the illegals in this country.
Who appointed you Official Spokesperson for All Americans? Shouldn't that be an elected position? And rotated every four years? Is this ringing any bells for you?
Are you an illegal or an anchor baby?
By any chance are you Euro-American? Beacuse, I don't think AMERICANS care at all about illegals since they have their own problems living in reservation.
Think again dear. AMERICANS don't want illegals here. PERIOD. Pull your head out of the sand.
Think again, darling. Human beings don't treat each other like animals. Pull your head out of the gutter.
Oh darling, you are not an American. Euro-Americans came slaughter and took by force my ancestors land. My people have been trying to stop illegals since 1492, yet you're still here. So don't say that Americans don't want illegals in their land.
Oh darling, you are not an American. Euro-Americans came slaughter and took by force my ancestors land. My people have been trying to stop illegals since 1492, yet you're still here. So don't say that Americans don't want illegals in their land.
LiveFree, What do you mean the government hasn't addressed the issue of illegal immigration? Congress has passed 7 amnesties but don't enforce their own laws and don't enforce the borders.
1. Immigration and Reform Control Act (IRCA), 1986: A blanket amnesty for some 2.7 million illegal aliens
2. Section 245(i) Amnesty, 1994: A temporary rolling amnesty for 578,000 illegal aliens
3. Section 245(i) Extension Amnesty, 1997: An extension of the rolling amnesty created in 1994
4. Nicaraguan Adjustment and Central American Relief Act (NACARA) Amnesty, 1997: An amnesty for close to one million illegal aliens from Central America
5. Haitian Refugee Immigration Fairness Act Amnesty (HRIFA), 1998: An amnesty for 125,000 illegal aliens from Haiti
6. Late Amnesty, 2000: An amnesty for some illegal aliens who claim they should have been amnestied under the 1986 IRCA amnesty, an estimated 400,000 illegal aliens
7. LIFE Act Amnesty, 2000: A reinstatement of the rolling Section 245(i) amnesty, an estimated 900,000 illegal aliens
source: numbersusa
And yet, somehow, there are still undocumented immigrants. Cleary the issue is not resolved.
How do you know? Have you talked to all the Americans in the U.S.?
What you do NOT care to realize is the majority of these "amnesites" were temporary. Some do not even meet the criteria to qualify.
PLEASE before you post ignorant "KKK" remarks do some moooore research!
THANK YOU!
[...] National Coming Out of the Shadows Week – March 15th to the 21st [...]
I aLSO HAVe a dream as King back in the days, and that is my main reason to live today I just got bailed out from a detention center. With the only charge of being undocumented PLEASE IF YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME DO NEVER GIVE UP, AND YES IAM AN ACTIVIST MARCHING IN PRO OF THE GLORIOUS DREAM ACT AND IMMIGRATION REFORM.
[...] anticipation of the National Coming Out Week, stories written and submitted by undocumented youth will be published daily. More stories [...]
[...] National Coming Out of the Shadows Week – March 15th to the 21st [...]
For you who began your lives in America as outlaws to now feel entitled to stay here is absurd. I recall the last time the illegals marched, first carrying MEXICAN flags with that virgin mary sewn onto them, chanting in spanish. You all were told by your organizers NOT to do that – you were too honest in where your loyalties were and they encouraged you to fly American flags and print your signs in English – those of you who bothered to learn the language anyway.
I was disappointed to learn that Sen Edward Kennedy was largely responsible for a previous immigration reform that opened the floodgates to immigration from latin america and led to hispanics being our largest minority.
I say deport you and should you return we can build jails on our southern border if you really want to stay here and charge these illegal immigrant jails to your country of origin.
For all of you that are scholars and athletes, you will be returning to your home countries and can use your American-provided education to better your own countries. I will wish you all the best on your way out.
you don't need to be legally in the US to have a good job and make good money. work for an international company. for more info lupeg15@yahoo.com
i came out a billion times and even those coming out is over, im still doing it
Typical liberal crap when you can't stand to hear the truth.
[...] DREAMActivist.org | Blog | National Coming Out of the Shadows Week – March 15th to t… [...]
I just gone up till level .
[...] activists to win support for the DREAM Act, including many young immigrants who took the risk of publicly identifying themselves in order to give their cause a human face. The defeat of the DREAM Act is a setback for the county [...]
i think the work is all done.
[...] from the gay rights movement (a related post on DreamActivist.org last year quoted Harvey Milk), undocumented students and graduates around the country went public with their immigration status [...]
[...] year’s “National Coming Out of the Shadows” week, the advocacy site DreamActivist.org posted a quote from gay rights hero Harvey Milk, the slain San Francisco city supervisor who in a 1978 speech [...]
I remeber I used to dream of getting my green card and it was almost hopeless. But if you pursue it, it will happen. We shoudl all be hopefull.
[...] last year’s“National Coming Out of the Shadows” week, the advocacy site DreamActivist.org posted a quote from gay rights hero Harvey Milk, the slain San Francisco city supervisor who in a 1978 speech [...]
[...] last year’s “National Coming Out of the Shadows” week, the advocacy site DreamActivist.org posted a quote from gay rights hero Harvey Milk, the slain San Francisco city supervisor who in a 1978 speech [...]
[...] final year’s “National Coming Out of a Shadows” week, a advocacy site DreamActivist.org posted a quote from gay rights favourite Harvey Milk, a slain San Francisco city administrator who in a 1978 [...]
[...] out http://dreamactivist.org/comeout for more [...]