This past Sunday, I turned 21 years old. In most cultures, that would be great cause for celebration, and in most college campuses, great cause for drunken debauchery. However, because I am not only 21, but now a 21 year-old DREAMer, I feel no cause for celebration. As an undocumented youth, even more doors to opportunity become slammed in my face, instead of laid at my feet as they should be. I now face the sobering reality that I have “aged out,” so to speak.

As an unmarried person now 21 or older, I am no longer included in the “first preference category” for a family petition, a petition that would have been my only immediate savior from deportation. To age out is to get bumped down essentially to second class, so in the miraculous occurrence that our parents somehow become permanent residents this very minute, we would still be in for an almost 9 year wait, as the priority date for the (2B) preference category is still in the year 2001. This is all assuming a petition is able to be filed to begin with, which is unfortunately not true for the majority of DREAMers.

You dream, pun intended, for the day your family is finally able to begin the legalization process, a dream that still eludes us today. Then on your 21^st birthday, you realize that your dream is now even further away than it has ever been; even with legal parents, you will still be left dreaming for a long while. So much for “family reunification.”

Without documentation, there is this glaring lack of independence that turning 21 is supposed to bring. You’re officially an adult in the eyes of society, but you’re nothing in the eyes of the immigration system, not even worth an identity or the little piece of paper that is supposed to represent it. It feels as if you can’t move forward, can’t even progress if you’re tried, because you’re still chained to the illogical rules dictated by a broken system.

I have met many DREAMers that are much more mature and much wiser than their 20-something years. They are fiercely independent, some of them entirely self-reliant, having been educated in the school of Life. Yet we cannot celebrate growing older, as we have already been denied our youth. We are only left dwelling on the milestones that we should have surpassed by now yet still continue to elude us, through no fault of our own.

I know that we shall emerge from this as wiser, more patient and more compassionate citizens of the world. Develop a deep love for all of humanity, because a voice being silenced halfway across the world may as well be your own. Thus I try to find the positive, knowing that, “This, too, shall pass.” Therefore I leave you with a list to aspire to, both DREAMers and non-DREAMers alike:

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1. Learn to forgive. Hurtful things are going to happen to you. Learn to let it go. Carrying a grudge is like trying to climb Mount Everest with a boulder in your backpack. It weighs you down and holds you back.

2. Say “I love you” and say “I’m sorry.” These really are the magic words. Learn when to say them, say them often, and mean it when you say them.

3. Be a child. Open your eyes every morning like you are opening them for the first time. Look closely at the world around you and find your place in it.

4. Never stop learning. Whenever you can, turn off the television and pick up a book. Take a class. Learn another language. Try something new. Travel. Explore the world around you. Exercise your mind.

5. Use what you’ve learned. You came into this world as helpless as any creature could be. But, by now, you should have most of the tools you’ll need to survive and thrive. Make good use of them.

6. Lose your ego. You won’t miss it.

7. Ask questions and question the answers. When you get the chance, ask a question. Search for the answers and when you think you’ve found them, look again.

8. Listen. Listen to music, to the birds and to the voices of people all around you. Listen to what they say and to what they aren’t saying. Listen to the little voice inside you.

9. Never lose your self respect. It’s the one thing you can take with you.

10. Hold a baby. Even if you never have one of your own, hold a baby in your arms now and then. Cradle them. Breathe the scent of a newborn. Think about the people who held you.

11. Practice gratitude. Look around you and count your blessings. Count them again.

12. Mind your manners. Make the world a kinder, gentler, place. And for heaven’s sake chew with your mouth closed.

13. Get a job. Learn the value of hard work. You don’t have to be rich or famous or powerful. You don’t have to play sports or be a movie star. Just do what you love and do it well.

14. Make friends but choose them carefully. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Avoid those who want to drag you down.

15. Take a leap of faith. Sometimes, that’s all you can do.

16. Give until it hurts. Spend time with those you love. Share your thoughts and dreams. Give a little back to those who need it more than you do.

17. Learn the difference in fashion and style. Fashion is what looks good at the moment. Style is what fits you forever.

18. Try something new. Don’t be afraid of change. Break out of a rut. When you get too comfortable, stretch a little to see what happens.

19. Hold onto tradition. Hold onto your history by keeping at least one tradition alive. Cook the family mac and cheese recipe. Tell old stories again and again.

20. Reach out and touch someone. Hold a hand. Give a kiss. Hug someone who needs it.

21. Never forget. Remember that you are loved with a love that knows no bounds. Count on that.

Lastly,

Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege.
– Author Unknown

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