my name is May -a true Filipino name- I was born in the Philippines. I came to the US when i was 5 and started kindergarten here after a few months. As a child I didn’t know i was different, I had many friends and I could do everything with them. I was selected as gifted and was in the gifted class since kindergarten.Â I was always getting good grades, everything just seemed so perfect for me. That is, until i reached my freshman year in high school.
Ever since i was about 8 i loved performing, dancing, singing and acting. It was my passion and I was pretty good at it. When I started freshman year I started their drama program and I fit well in there too, but I wanted more than that. I wanted this as my career and so i started looking for a agent and auditioning, I finally did get a call back and was signing the forms and that’s when it all started. My mom decided that it wasn’t good for me and I should look into something else. I was confused and started to cry and get angry. Then she told me I couldn’t because they needed my social security number and I didn’t have one. She told me that I wasn’t a US citizen and could not do this. My dreams were crushed. i was now confused with my life, not knowing what to do and what to be.
I am now 16 and can’t even drive while all my friends are driving to school. I lie and say “I can’t drive till I am 18 because my parents won’t allow me to” but they don’t know the real reason. My grades have me dropping now from straight A’s to straight C’s. Also now I am having problems at home about it, my mother yells at me everyday about my grades saying I am a failure and I cant do anything right. She think I will never get into college. She also has my aunt and uncle living with us and she supports them too. It’s her older sister so she respects her, but when she gets mad she takes it out on me. At least my boyfriend makes me feel better everyday when these things happen, he says he would marry me so I can be a citizen and I can go to college, work, and have a good life without my family making me depressed all the time. But I cant, I want t0 marry him because were ready and we truly love each other…not for a citizenship. I don’t know what to do with my life, I am lost and confused because I am limited to the things I should be able to have but can’t because im not a US citizen.
On top of that I have family members that don’t support me and constantly yell at me so I wont fail. I also don’t have a father. All I have is my mom and her sister and their husbands. They think I am a bad child and can never succeed in life, I hear them talk in our language a lot about me and it just makes me mad and angry. I want to leave my home, I ran away 3 times but they don’t care because they know I will always come back home sooner or later. My mom bribes me with money and things so she thinks I will feel better but I can’t deal with this anymore. I want to succeed in life, i want to get a good job and make a lot of money for my own future family so they have a better life than mine and is open for opportunities. I want to go to NYU to study media/television I want an internship. but my best chances is UCLA and study in the lines of medicine which is something that I am really not interested in. I hope that I can be a citizen in the right way so that I can contribute to the country that I love and was raised in. I have been here practically my whole life and have only lived 3 and a half years elsewhere.
Why can’t I be a citizen?